Cirque du Freak: The Vampires Assistant

  • 2010


MOVIE IS energetic entertaining interesting lifeless nostalgic
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31 %
38 % Rotten
$ 39 Million
See Where to Watch Cirque du Freak: The Vampires Assistant
Positive Reviews 50
Negative reviews 45
Average Rating 2.6/5
energetic entertaining interesting lifeless nostalgic

  • All
  • Positive
  • Negative
3.0
(Hayek is an entertaining eyeful as a lady with both full boobs and full beard.) EW
1.9
The movie has good special effects and suitably gruesome characters, but its bloodless. Rogerebert
2.0
Bits and pieces of the movie work fairly well, but as a whole, it feels much longer than it is, and it makes you wish it had been adapted into a TV se .. Common Sense Media
4.5
The Vampires Assistant is too busy making impossible claims about just how spectacular its sequels will be to serve up a self contained story with a s .. Variety
3.0
There are also so many characters that some barely register, while others like our teen hero are just unlikeable. Its very energetic, but a more relax .. Time Out
2.5
Its hard to escape the feeling that this is one film that already has its eye on the next chapter.
2.5
While it celebrates the creative and the imagined and introduces us to colorful characters, its bland and dull.
3.0
Theres plenty more going on in this artfully directed and fancifully acted anti Twilight opening salvo, but suffice it to say that Weitzs film is simp ..
2.0
The look of the film has a great, eerie Victorian storybook quality to it.
1.3
Whenever the other vampires hit the screen, the movie becomes boring. San Francisco Chronicle
3.0
A talented ensemble helps this pull through despite a leaden lead, but it may still seem too childish for adults and too adult for kids.
4.0
Its an eye popping creation with its own ideas about how vampires should look and plenty of freaks to have fun with. Cinema Blend
3.0
Despite a few battles, the war itself is left for a sequel that may or may not get made. Ny Daily News
3.5
The film is an odd combination of humor and serious/kid scary scenes. Screen Rant
2.5
Will a sequel will ever get shot.Cirque du Freaks doesnt have the feel of a franchise maker. The Globe And Mail
2.0
And Cirque might have worked if were either straight dark comedy or actually dark, like its source material. Village Voice
2.0
It turns out to be neither scary nor funny, just another dumb vampire flick. Sover
2.0
It would greatly surprise me if there is ever a sequel to The Vampires Assistant. ReelViews
4.0
Mixing horror and comedy while minimizing the gore, writer director Paul Weitz (About a Boy) serves up a witty adventure fantasy with a tasty dollop o .. Chicago Reader
3.8
This first film (based on Shans first three books) is a darkly funny and fun macabre fantasy that constantly winks at itself and expectations.The Vamp .. Mark Reviews Movies
2.0
The film has a lot of laughs with the day to day realities of being a sideshow performer or a vampire. Eric Ds Nider
3.5
When the latter results in a skipped class and some broken lights at school, Darren is grounded and told he can no longer be friends with Steve. Screen It
1.9
Hell, Im not explaining that, either.All you need to know is that the movie is a setup for sequels that I hope never come. Rolling Stone
2.5
But instead dark and gothic, the filmmakers keep things light and often wacky. Shadows On The Wall
2.0
The Nature of Imitation is the sound of Dorian Concept systematically deconstructing various genres, stripping them back to the bones underneath and t .. Pop Matters
2.0
Also, in attempting to underplay it, he ends up giving flat readings of what are presumably meant to be deadpan funny lines.Cirque du Freak: The Vampi .. View London
3.8
Both films are based on young adult novels, but one focuses on heavy petting while the other gears up for a coming war. News Day
0.0
The movie, based on a series of books and meant to set up sequels, is going to disappear faster than a vampire in daylight. New York Post
2.5
The filmmakers cant decide on whether they want it to be a comedy, a horror, a coming of age tale, a good vs. evil parable or a combination of all of .. Deseret News (Salt Lake Ci ..
1.5
The supernatural and its accompanying history of half vampires and vampaneze never establishes itself as anything but ridiculous. Az Central
2.5
Will there be a sequel, a Cirque du Freak: Legend of the Viable Franchise Boston
1.5
And it is funny, in a gentler, more unassuming way than you might expect from a movie by screenwriters Paul Weitz and Brian Helgeland, whove collectiv ..
2.5
A disappointing attempt to launch a movie franchise based on the popular young adult novels by Darren Shan, the film cant decide whether its an earnes .. Toronto Star
2.0
Its been awhile since such a structurally messy, poorly cut film has been released by major studio, one which cant decide what it wants to be, scary v .. Emanuellevy
3.0
Based on a series of books by Darren Shan, its infinitely more inventive than the sweetly romantic Twilight books aimed at the vulnerable jugulars of .. Guardian
2.0
These are strictly CGI and the teen vamp pose is beginning to pall. Guardian
3.5
They probably didnt even mind watching the most blatant promise of a sequel ever seen on film. Reel Talk Reviews
2.0
Plenty of big budget special effects have been hurled at the project, and theres much to admire in the production design; but an underwhelming screenp .. Daily Mail
3.5
The mood swings between novelty comedy and artful adventure, but the screenplay (jointly by director Paul Weitz and the redoubtable Brian Helgeland) i ..
3.5
The bad one gets to have all the fun.And the best part is that since this is part one of a planned series, no one has to win or lose at the end. Movies
3.0
It is both old fashioned and modern, light as a feather but also rather moving a morality tale that should tickle the fancy of both older children and .. Express
3.0
Aiming to do for Brit author Darren Shan what Twilight did for Stephenie Meyer, this lavish but uneven franchise hopeful condenses the first three boo .. Total Film
2.0
Scattershot and comically unbalanced, Cirque du Freak is a wannabe horror film that feels like it was filmed underwater. Coles Mithey
2.5
The film is a convoluted mess of ideas and mythology, and while all of it is potentially interesting none of it is fleshed out near well enough to mak .. Movie Freak
3.0
Its a perfectly fine introduction to the character and a perfectly fine bit of harmless entertainment.
3.8
The path to war leads right up to the films ending, and its hard to know if the film will make enough money to justify a sequel, so if you want to see .. Groucho Reviews
2.0
What in the heck is going on here Not scary, not funny. The story gets lost in the woods. Paul Chambers, CNN. Cnn
1.9
Had the film stayed along those lines, it would have been a lot more enjoyable than it ultimately is. Aisle Seat
3.5
Its a pretty solid interpretation of a what a good young adult novel should be: a story that teenagers can relate to that isnt childish and also not a .. 7M Pictures
2.0
Like Twilight, Cirque du Freak: The Vampires Assistant hopes to capitalize on vampire chic, but this tales turn to the dark side is as anemic as a vic .. Boxoffice Magazine
3.0
Cirque Du Freak: The Vampires Assistant doesnt totally suck, though its not very satisfying either. E Online
3.5
The Vampires Assistant is an entertaining and engaging entry in the vampire sweepstakes. Maki At The Movies
3.5
Darren is meant to live a happy, productive life: going to college, obtaining a job, and having a family a role he doesnt know if hell be comfortable ..
3.0
Nevertheless, its still worth a watch and does contain some truly spectacular special effects and intriguing performances. Digital Spy
2.0
The film is randy and rough hewn even by the standards of its genre. I could claim to have found it tasteless and mirthless, but that would be a lie. Ft
3.1
As a setup for further adventures, it serves as a promising first chapter, an involving if certainly morbid tale that has been misrepresented in its m .. Dustin Put Man
4.4
And the young actors are solid too it will be interesting to see how Massoglia and Hutcherson grow into their roles in the inevitable sequels. Ar Kansas Online
4.5
Like being ordered to have long hair and smile on stage, but wondering how to smile with a trombone in your mouth.Or repeatedly told youre not good en .. News Blaze
1.5
So this film has the feel of an opening salvo, a first chapter rather than a complete story. Hollywood And Fine
2.0
Neither babyfaced Massoglia or craggy Reilly make convincing vampires. And Cirque Du Freak author Darren Shan must be a supreme egotist to name the he .. The Sun
3.0
Its an ambitious gamble, and one wasted on a dreary exercise in Harry Potter franchise money tree dreams. Brian Or Ndorf
2.5
As the vampire Larten Crespley, Reilly actually brings out both his sincere and sarcastic sides.
1.9
Its a poorly directed, lifeless mess with wooden performances and pretentious cinematography. Nyc Movie Guru
3.1
The movie has its moments, but director Paul Weitz paces things a bit like a cheesy carnival ride. Js Online
2.0
It turns out to be neither scary nor funny, just another dumb vampire flick. Dennis Schwartz Reviews
3.0
Its worth the price of a ticket but, like most passing curiosities, the first coming of Cirque Du Freak is all sideshows and no main event. Sky
1.0
But having no guts, and boasting about it for financial gain, seems stupid and desperate.Its a powerful metaphor for this mess of a film. Sbs
3.0
September 21, 2018 Henry Jamess tricks and traps; how to read Anglo Saxon poetry; the modern context of USIran relations; dissent, protest, satire and .. Entertainment Times Online ..
1.0
September 21, 2018 Henry Jamess tricks and traps; how to read Anglo Saxon poetry; the modern context of USIran relations; dissent, protest, satire and .. Entertainment Times Online ..
2.5
Perhaps the biggest challenge for The Vampires Assistant involves the way its being marketed, which makes it difficult to judge exactly what kind of f .. No La
2.0
With its dark themes and heaving bosoms (well, Salmas), Cirque Du Freak hints at a grown up watch. But the tone dips into bland, child friendly territ .. Metro
4.5
Reillys Crepsley makes both the afterlife and any sequels to come equally appealing prospects. Or Lando Weekly
4.5
An adequate mood setter for the season a pretty neat concept that may be slightly overambitious, but still entertaining fluff. Bowling Green Daily News
2.5
Cirque Du Freak: The Vampires Assistant is a film with a chronic identity crisis and no clear idea where its headed. Film4
3.0
This would be fine if Cirque du Freak placed Darren in an exciting adventure, but after initially setting up his transformation and introducing a host .. Future Movies
2.0
And there still museums with pay what you wish admission, if not every day, then on certain days weekly or monthly.You just have to know who offers wh .. New York Time Out
3.5
Fight a war, its probably more entertaining that way.Its the dilemma of franchise filmmaking. Can Mag
2.0
Harry Potter neednt call time out on his Quidditch game, and Edward Cullen can stick to his beauty rest. Detroit News
4.4
Together they have crafted a world that both intrigues and amuses. Crazed Fan Boy
2.0
Unreeling like a feature length trailer, Cirque du Freak: The Vampires Assistant suffers from premature sequelitis. MSN Movies
1.5
While its obviously aimed at the tween crowd, we fail to see where this movie would appeal to even young viewers. Dread Central
3.0
It true to the tone of the series, a combination of teenage angst and outrageous grotesquery, with the recognition that sometimes it can be hard to te .. Movie Mom
3.8
A fun, energetic adventure with plenty of inoffensive ghoulish touches that should please kid and adult horror buffs alike. Gomemphis
3.0
8 things to watch out for this week Feature Call of Duty: Black Ops 4 multiplayer beta debuts on PS4, Monster Hunter World hits PC and Better Call Sau .. Sfx
3.0
As such, I have to say Saw VI is one of the better entries in the series Saw IV and Saw I are still my favorites, but the latest definitely delivers i .. Horror
3.0
The first image of Cirque du Freak: The Vampires Assistant tells us everything we need to know about what kind of film this is going to be: we open on .. Brandon Fibbs
2.0
Between this and having to sit through New Moon, Ill take the freaks every time. Mania.com
3.0
But the film lacks the necessary spectacular action, or star appeal to give it any real box office bite. Daily Record
2.0
No satisfying resolution, no sense of characters coming into their own, and no feeling that the world thats been created was interesting enough to sus .. New York Metro Mix
4.0
If this clever and stylish hybrid is your bucket of blood, then youll certainly be clamoring for the further adventures of these bizarre and delightfu .. MSNBC
3.1
Considering its little more than a melange of Twilight, Harry Potter and Goosebumps, Cirque is far, far more entertaining a movie than it has any righ .. Washington Times
2.5
While Cirque du Freak: A Vampires Assistant might hold a certain charm for tween fans, it suffers from too much exposition and not enough freakishly c .. The Movie Kit
4.5
What a real trip to a real freak show would probably never be forgettable. Movie Retriever
2.0
Its high production values not to mention the worlds cutest poisonous spider cant paper over a tepid and drawn out plot. Daily Mirror (UK)
1.0
The non actors artlessly stumble through scenes that might best be described as lifeless. Meanwhile, the over actors project far beyond the camera len ..
2.0
Its just that the whole supernatural franchise thing itself is awfully derivative. Seanax
3.0
Plenty of good elements here, but a lack of cohesion and a lackluster performance by the lead actor make the film at best a decent rental. Spectrum (St. George, Utah ..
3.1
Older moviegoers who can recall the spate of like minded horror flicks from the 1980s will find much to appreciate.
1.0
What we have here is a commercial product geared possibly for boys of pre bar mitzvah age. It lacks art. It lacks wit. It lacks erythrocytes and leuko .. Culture Catch
1.0
Shoddily structured, boring, and featuring the drippiest teen lead this side of the Jonas brothers, it seems designed for junior fanboys who still wet ..
3.0
Weitz shoots half the film through a hazy, disorienting lens that stands in for everything from spider vision to just for the hell of it vision, and w .. Amy Weekly
4.0
But mostly, the film is a pleasant surprise that proves there is still some bite left in the crowded vampire genre. Gazette
1.5
A textbook example of how trying to please everyone ends up pleasing no one, Cirque Du Freak: The Vampires Assistant is a Frankensteins monster of a m .. Miami Herald Type Pad
2.0
But theres a thin sheen of flop sweat on The Vampires Assistant, as if its thinking its hoped for sequels... its like being on a first date and having ..
0.5
A colossal bore of a teen fantasy movie ... crammed with trite, prepackaged lessons. Amc
2.5
The movie avoids the darker aspects of the vampire myth, and like the books, its more into horror than hormones.
1.5
...the first installment in a potential franchise that fails to offer reasons why mainstream audiences will want to follow it any further. Scifi Wire
1.5
teenybopper fiction brought to life on the big screen, realized as the first installment in a potential franchise that fails to offer reasons why main .. SciFi.com



See Where to Watch Cirque du Freak: The Vampires Assistant