Vampires Suck

  • 2010


MOVIE IS uninspired excruciatingly sophisticated important immaculately
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3 %
4 % Rotten
$ 80 Million
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Positive Reviews 8
Negative reviews 69
Average Rating 1.3/5
uninspired excruciatingly sophisticated important immaculately

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  • Positive
  • Negative
1.5
Sadly, thats where the filmmakers mild accomplishments end and the groaningly predictable hackwork begins. Av Club
3.0
Vampires Suck finds Friedberg Seltzer evolving ever so slightly, but adequacy remains out of their grasp, and mediocrity might just be an impossible g .. Av Club
3.0
type Movie Current Status In Season Wide Release Date 08/18/10 performer Matt Lanter director Jason Friedberg, Aaron Seltzer distributor 20th Century .. EW
1.0
From the writers/directors of Date Movie, Epic Movie, Meet the Spartans, and Disaster Movie, this is an exercise in lowest common denominator humor, i .. Common Sense Media
0.5
The same cant be said of the extremely loose collection of repetitive sight gags, god awful puns, and soul crushingly lame kinda/sorta impersonations .. Austin Chronicle
1.0
A few broader references might have made this punishing one note trawl through the eminently spoofable tween vamp saga slightly more watchable. Time Out
1.0
A witless, slavish pastiche of the series of romantic dramas based on Stephenie Meyers Twilight novels. It is a knowing film that knows nothing about .. The Guardian
0.0
There are any number of reasons why Vampires Suck reeks as much as the vampire trend its parodying.
0.6
Perhaps the filmmakers deserve credit for their one show of restraint: No jokes in this movie have been made at the expense of Justin Bieber.
1.0
Empty Parody specialists Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer have found their formula and are sticking with it despite what any of the rest of us might .. The Hollywood Reporter
0.0
Vampires Suck isnt likely to kill anyone, but it will make you appreciate the comparatively brilliant satire of the Wayans brothers Scary Movie series ..
1.0
Along the way, its almost fascinatingly awful, nailing the moony tedium of its target franchise with something close to suicidal exactitude. Telegraph
2.5
For those who were dragged to those movies, at least here the two are compressed into one 82 minute sulk and bite fest.Plenty of gags fall flat, but w ..
1.3
Whats most disappointing isnt the obviousness of the humor, but how dated some of it is. San Francisco Chronicle
1.0
If you like this sort of thing, nothing will stop you going to see it.
1.5
The best recent parody movie. Not because its good, but because its only unbelievably boring while the others were unbearably irritating. Cinema Blend
2.0
His hero, Zinos (co writer Adam Bousdoukos), is a flailing restaurant owner in Hamburg, Germany. Ny Daily News
2.0
You know a spoof is in trouble when its not even as funny as its target. All three installment of the Twilight series...offer more giggles than this e .. One Guys Opinion
2.0
That effort alone saves the insufferable film from completing sucking, which might not be saying much but it does say something positive about such a .. Sover
3.0
It achieves the basic minimum level of narrative competence. Still not funny, though. Eric Ds Nider
1.0
Instead we get Jenn Proske and Matt Lanter, who look and act more or less like Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson, respectively.If the Friedberg Sel .. News Review
2.0
The erratic, barely humorous dialogue here is even more ghastly than your average spoof, while Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzers direction is patchy, .. Radio Times
0.0
If theres one good point about the offering, its that it will make one yearn for the classics of the genre, the Airplane and Naked Gun flicks, films t .. Screen It
1.0
Its distressing to think of anyone of an impressionable age going to see this; those of an unimpressionable age have no excuse. Independent
2.0
In other words, its efficiently made, but it lacks even the slightest hint of cleverness or wit. Shadows On The Wall
1.0
The specific target of the Twilight movies gives Vampires Suck a little more structure than these films normally have, but this is still a painfully u .. View London
1.0
The best satires actually love their victims.Mel Brooks Young Frankenstein paid tribute to classic horror films. News Day
1.5
Two very important things to note about Vampires Suck: The film is a spoof of the Twilight movies, and the title is a good indication of where the lev .. Az Central
1.3
The film provides enough recognizable references that Twi hards with a sense of humor should feel included in the jokes, or inspired to make up their .. Boston
1.0
There are also buckets of blood, hairier and more musclebound werewolves and plenty of bodily function gags. Smh
0.5
Many of the gags are virtually indistinguishable from what takes place in the real movies.Others work on the assumption that the viewer is expertly ve .. Mountain X
1.3
Writer/directors Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer, the brain trust behind such spoofs as Date Movie, Epic Movie and Disaster Movie have come up with .. Toronto Star
1.0
Vampires Suck pulls off the extraordinary feat of making the original movies look inspired. Guardian
0.0
If you want to watch Vampire Sucks take every single god forsaken Twilight spoof youve ever seen on Youtube, FunnyorDie, and YTMD, mash them together .. Cinema Crazed
1.5
So many accurate puns could be made about the title of this film that it hardly seems worth bothering. Eye For Film
2.5
Despite its short running time, the film sags a bit in the final third, but the target audience will undoubtedly get a boost from experiencing the fil ..
2.0
But everything else is totally their fault.The Mind Warping Power Of Films Like This: Watching a movie this pathetic can really mess with your head. Movies
0.5
I know comedy is subjective, so grant me that Vampires Suck just did not make me laugh. It probably doesnt help that, as a spoof on the Twilight franc .. Flim Threet
1.0
Thats the equivalent of a health warning on a packet of cigarettes to any movie goer of taste or refinement.The latest atrocity is a witless, puerile .. Express
1.0
From the relent less goon squad who churned out Scary/Date/Epic/ Disaster Movie comes this fish in a barrel skewering of the Twilight Saga. Total Film
1.0
Which I fear is more than enough for some lazy studio exec to greenlight still more stale Friedberg and Seltzer collaborations. Hollywood
0.5
A parody of the Twilight movies so painfully unfunny it could turn proud Twilight haters into lifelong fans. Herald Sun
3.0
WHAT I DIDNT LIKE Well, it is a Friedberg and Seltzer movie, after all.The special effects are laughable. 7M Pictures
1.5
Vampires Suck has too much in common with its target. It is a forgettable ploy designed to shamelessly rip money out of teenage wallets before its aud .. Boxoffice Magazine
2.0
Friedberg & Seltzer basically rehash Twilight sequences and interject uninspired shtick and predictable jabs at easy pop culture targetsTiger Woods, t .. E Online
1.5
However, there is a shining light. And that is first timer Proske. Shes obviously done her homework because her twitching, moping performance of Krist .. Film Ink
2.5
Given the coy handling of sex and violence that was portrayed in the original Twilight movies, its a mild thrill to see their titillating subtext so b .. The Age
4.0
Vikram Jayantis BBC production is culled from 50 hours of interviews made during the reclusive Spectors first trial he was accused of sticking one of .. La Weekly
1.0
Its not quite as bad as Friedberg and Seltzers usual output, but only in the way that measles is better than mumps. Mirror
2.0
Vampires Suck could have been dreamed up by frat boys too drunk to change the channel on a Twilight movie telecast. Tamp A Bay
1.0
Vampires Suck has its heart in the right place, but it couldve done with sharper fangs. Abc
0.6
It is the latter word in the title that most accurately describes the film: suck. Dustin Put Man
3.0
Its an incredible letdown.What we have with Vampires Suck is simply Friedberg and Seltzer doing what they always do: tanking every possible joke, cram .. Brian Or Ndorf
0.5
Rated PG 13 for, among other things, crude sexual content... I disagree in the strongest terms with the implication that this film has anything resemb .. Antagony & Ecstasy
1.3
theres literally nothing in this cinematic wasteland that should draw even the laziest, most attention deficit moviegoer into the movie theatre.
1.5
For starts, the Twilight Saga invites parody, by positing unattainably fit men in sudden thrall of a thoroughly grim and insufferable blank. Straight
2.0
Synopsis The slapstick spoof machine that brought us Scary Movie, Date Movie, Disaster Movie et al turns its broad comedy gaze to the mass teenage pop .. Sky
2.0
Vampires Suck exists in a mirthless void somewhere between the satiric lunacy of the genre standard bearer, the Abraham/Zucker classic Flying High (19 .. Sbs
1.0
Mocking the vampire vogue like a child pulling pigtails (hard), this is playground humour, and the school is definitely gross out. Metro
2.5
Casting two lookalikes and coaching your young actors to mimic the trio from Twilight isnt enough to make for a great parody. Movie Metropolis
0.0
The script abandons witty observation in favour of poor pop culture references and jokes that are either in terrible taste or just arent very funny. The National
1.0
The Twilight Saga franchise, with its brooding teen heroine, its immaculately groomed dreamboat vampires and its buff werewolves, proved to be too muc .. Winnipeg Free Press
1.0
This is the kind of film that is so bad that you almost wish that it had been shot in 3D simply so that you could just take your glasses off and not h .. Tiny Url
1.0
The films rehash scenes and characters from blockbuster movies more for no other reason than popular audiences will recognise them. Future Movies
1.0
The films rehash scenes and characters from blockbuster movies more for no other reason than popular audiences will recognise them. Future Movies
0.6
Will it top Rotten Tomatoes worst of the worst at years end If anyone still remembers it by then, itll be the leading candidate. Boston Phoenix
0.0
And there still museums with pay what you wish admission, if not every day, then on certain days weekly or monthly.You just have to know who offers wh .. New York Time Out
0.5
Tosses off some blunt force one liners, coasts on character impersonation, riffs off the originals plot points, and pretends its cheap imitation of th .. Vue Weekly
1.5
Obviously, Vampires Suck is not a good film, but that its not a complete and total abomination makes the attempt feel like something close to progress .. Movie Martyr
1.3
Guys, youre making this parody business look awfully hard.So much to work with, and this is the best you could come up with Articles Orlando Sentinel
3.0
What Friedberg and Seltzer need to know is that in order to create a successful spoof, you have to understand the genres more mature older brother, sa .. Week In Rewind
0.5
THE most surprising thing about Vampires Suck is that some parts of it almost work. Almost. The Mercury
3.1
The latest nitwit spoof from the opportunistic Friedberg and Seltzer team is a cut above its scattershot predecessors, due to the specificity of its t .. Gomemphis
1.5
8 things to watch out for this week Feature Call of Duty: Black Ops 4 multiplayer beta debuts on PS4, Monster Hunter World hits PC and Better Call Sau .. Sfx
1.0
Talent borrows, genius steals. Rank idiocy, on the other hand, spoofs. News Of The World
1.5
With a title like Vampires Suck, you dont buy your ticket expecting sophisticated satire, but is it really too much to ask for a few funny jokes Sadly ..
0.6
With the level of humor here running to flatulence jokes, groin kicks and high school smart aleck cracks, their movie does, indeed, (surely no other c .. News Ok
1.3
While Ive seen worse movies than Vampires Suck this year, I doubt Ill see another as lazily constructed even a homemade YouTube video capturing a dog ..
0.5
So here I am, down on my knees, begging you not to go see Vampires Suck. Who knows If we can get enough people to stay away from the theater, maybe we .. Wd Times
1.0
Vampires Suck misses its targets in spectacular fashion thanks to the directors usual approach of simply recreating scenes from the original movies wi .. Scotsman
2.5
The jokes are hit or miss, though the batting average is slightly better than usual. Entertainment Sltrib
1.5
There are few things worse than watching a comedy flatline for over an hour, tossing its funny parts into a vacuum of uncomfortable silence. Cinematical



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